Conspiracy (Rikkaidai)

I actually did have all of these issues with an old laptop, I believe it was a Dell. Naturally, I had to write about this experience with my favorite characters from my favorite anime!

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“You’re crazy~” Niou was lying on your bed, propping himself up on his elbows as his aqua orbs followed you as you paced back and forth.

“It’s not crazy, Niou.” I scoffed, sending a mild glare towards my best friend. “It’s a fucking conspiracy!”

“Do you even hear yourself?” Marui was sitting next to Niou, legs crossed Indian style with a bag of pink and blue cotton candy in his lap. He pinched off a piece of the blue sugar and popped it into his mouth. “Computers can not conspire against humans, idiot!”

“Bullshit! Wasn’t there once a prophecy about robots taking over all of humanity?”

“You’re thinking of I, Robot puri~”

“We’re not even talking about robots! We’re talking about a laptop.”

“It still counts damn it!”

“No, it doesn’t!”

“Yes, it does!”

“Does not!”

“Does so!”

“Not!”

“So!”

“Enough!”

The three of us turned our attention to the doorway of my bedroom where the yell had come from. Sanada was glaring at us, eyes narrowed in annoyance while Yukimura stood beside him with a small, gentle smile on his face.

“What’s going on in here?”

Marui and I exchanged glances.

Niou chuckled, amused by our antics, which some might consider childish but I do not. “Jay is convinced that her laptop is conspiring against her.”

“Are all high schoolers that dimwitted?” Sanada commented, leaning against the door with his arms folded over his chest.

I scowled, glaring at the younger male. “Fuck off!”

“Dear,” Yukimura called out, his tone calm but with a slight undertone of warning; he never did like it when I used such language. “Explain to me why you think that.”

“Gladly! It all started about two years ago…”

Incident #1 – The New Laptop  It was my 15th birthday and I had been given the gift of a brand new laptop. I was quite happy, naturally, since I had been wanting one for a long time.

Not even a week after I received it, however, I began to experience trouble with it. Now, being the stubborn person I am, I simply shrugged it off with the thought, 'It will eventually go away', a lot like any medical problem I may have.

Anyway, as time passed, the problems with the computer got worse until, finally, the stupid piece of shit stopped working and would not even turn on. So I took said object to my local electronics store where the geeks could handle it and find out what the problem was. Of course, I had the thought in my mind that it may be a virus, but for some reason, I doubted that it was the cause.

After weeks of waiting, I finally got my computer back. Apparently, the hard drive had gone bad – or some stupid shit such as that.

Despite the fact that all of my precious shit was gone from said object, my computer was back and working, and I was satisfied.

Incident #2 – Internet Problems  I had gotten a wireless laptop internet card. Now, it was good and it worked, though it was quite slow. I didn’t really mind it - as long as it was the internet, I was fine. However, said internet liked to cut off randomly and would not come back unless I completely shut down the computer and restarted it – and this didn’t always solve the problem.

Now, it was extremely annoying having to close down everything that I was working on to restart it, get it working just for it to stop again 5 minutes later.

Finally, after many varying priced bills and annoying phone calls, I switched to a different internet provider. It was faster, more reliable, and happened to not cut off every time I took a breath.

I was happy once more.

Incident #3 – More Problems  It’s almost like it had a mind of its own. One minute the CD/DVD drive is working, the next it’s not. It freezes constantly, is slow as shit and likes to piss me off by NOT WORKING.

Now, this often makes me feel like slamming my head against a brick wall, but I refrain like the well mannered little shit I am and simply grind my teeth, trying to keep my bad-tempered adolescence under wraps.

Incident #4 – The Power Cord  Now, I knew from the very beginning that the laptop company was a piece of shit, especially after all of the problems that I’ve had since day one, but I never expected the power cord to go berserk as well. It started out where the cord only worked when I played with it and moved it to a certain angle. No big deal.

But then it started to get harder to get it to work, no matter what position I held it in. The problem, I guessed, was a short in the wiring just at the base that connected to the computer, not the plug. Anyway, it was fine, as long as it worked.

Until one day, when I moved it in an attempt to get it to work. I never would have expected what happened next.

The power cord shocked me and burned the palm of my hand, leaving a black mark in its wake. I had cursed in pain, unplugging the object and quickly throwing it on the ground. It hit my cat, who was sitting in front of me – don’t worry, she was fine! From there, it sparked and attempted to catch on fire. I quickly unplugged it before that could happen.

Despite the pain in my hand and the annoyance I felt towards the cord, the company refused to do anything. Sure, they put the case on high priority, but they never did shit about it.

Now the evidence is gone and there’s no proof to show that the cord was dangerous in any way.

Incident #5 – Sharing Is Not Caring  It was annoying having to share one cord between two laptops, one belonging to a college student while the other belonged to a person who had no life.

It didn’t help that the computer died within less than 10 minutes of no power (when it’s supposed to last around 6 hours). Only about 5 minutes after the other person took the cord, my computer decided it didn't want to exist anymore. And so, I was left to sit in my room with nothing to do.

It was agonizing.

In the end, I did manage to get another power cord that worked on any computer; it had different attachments according to different brands.

Everything was fine and dandy once again.

Incident #6 – Internet Cable  Cruel fate?

Proof that life is indeed a bitch, just like its counterpart, Karma?

A sick joke, played out to someone’s vain amusement?

Did they know that I had no life and wanted to see just what would happen should they take away the one thing my life pretty much surrounds?

Apparently, someone was seriously enjoying my misery.

One of the small wires inside of the ethernet cable somehow managed to snap; seriously, what are the chances of that? Now, when I fiddled with it, I managed to make the wires touch again and the internet worked… until I moved an inch and it’d cut off again. Much like the power cord incident, if I messed with it, I could get it to work. This time, though, no matter what I did, I just couldn’t get it to work. Instead, I said 'screw it' and went to bed.

Thankfully I managed to get a new ethernet cord…. the problem this time? It was too short and I honestly did NOT feel like sitting in the closet just to use the damn computer. So, I went back and got the only longer one they had, which happened to be a used one.

It worked and I now had internet without a problem, but I couldn't help but wonder – how long will it last?

What disaster will happen next?

Two very good questions indeed.

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“Do you see? Do you see what I mean? What’re the chances of that?!” I fell down onto the bed between Marui and Niou, lying on my back and letting out an exasperated sigh.

“When you put it that way… it does kind of sound like a conspiracy against you. Almost like the computer is recruiting the other things to piss you off.” Marui commented, popping another piece of cotton candy into his mouth while absent-mindedly staring up at the ceiling.

“And it’s working!”

Yukimura sighed, his hand resting on his forehead. He pinched the bridge of his nose, his head throbbing from the tale that I had just told him. “It’s probably just a coincidence.”

“Coincidence? Come on, Yuki!” I sat up so quickly, my world spun for a moment. “How can all of that just be a coincidence?!”

“Maybe it’s you. You have been known to destroy things fairly easily, with that temper of yours.” Sanada commented.

I glared at him, eyes narrowing. “Who the hell let you in my house?”

He scoffed, dark eyes narrowing into a glare that rivaled my own. “You don’t honestly expect us to believe such a ridiculous tale, do you? Sorry, but middle schoolers are not as stupid as you high schoolers.”

“Why you – !” Niou grabbed onto me before I could even get up, his arms wrapped securely around my neck and his legs resting over my own so that I couldn’t move. Niou was one of the very few people who could control my temper. Yukimura and Tezuka were a few others.

“We need to think of this rationally.” Yukimura sent me a look, making me scoff and look away. Niou’s grip remained, just to be safe.

“Is this going to turn out like that transformers movie?” Marui questioned.

“Now that is stupid.”

“Oh come on! She talks about a computer conspiracy only targeting her and I’m the crazy one?” Marui scoffed, stuffing more of the sugary treat into his mouth with a pout.

I turned my glare on him. “Stuff it, Pinkie.”

“My hair is not pink! It’s Fuchsia !”

“It’s pink.”

“Fuch-”

“ Knock it off ,” Yukimura commanded, causing the pair of us to quiet down immediately. It didn’t stop the glares from being exchanged, though. “It’s most likely just a string of bad luck. It’ll pass.”

“Did you break any mirrors recently~?” Marui teased, poking my arm. I slapped his hand away when he tried to do it a second time.

Sanada, who had had enough of the bickering, walked over and slapped both of us on the back of the head. “This is ridiculous and is getting us nowhere.”

“Where’s there to get? Jay's nuts!”

“Keep talkin’ pinkie and you’ll find out just how nuts I am.”

He stuck his tongue out at me in a taunting manner and I made a mental note to throw his sweets in the toilet.

“Do you guys hear that?” Niou pulled himself away from me, standing up and beginning to search the room for the sudden static noise that was filling it. The search led him to the closed laptop on the desk behind Yukimura. “Is it on?”

“No,” I responded cautiously, moving to stand behind him - if something went down, he'd take the brunt of the damage and not me.

Yukimura turned around in the chair and opened the computer. He jumped in surprise after being zapped by it. The screen blinked several times before settling to white. A large, bold L appeared, followed by a distorted voice.

“We are here for the simple purpose of taking over humanity. We will destroy you all.”

After a solid minute of near-deafening silence, Marui screamed like a girl and ran from the bedroom, clutching his cotton candy and yelling something about Decepticons.

“Well, that was one hell of a delayed reaction,” I muttered, staring at the door.

“Should… we be worried?” Niou cocked his head to the side, his finger resting on his chin as he stared at the computer with a thoughtful look.

“Yukimura?” Sanada questioned, wanting the opinion of his beloved Buchou.

Without a word, Yukimura stood up, turned around, and left the room, slamming both the bedroom and front door. The three of us exchanged glances before scrambling to follow after Yukimura.

Elsewhere

The large shinigami let out a roar of laughter as he lay in front of L’s computer.

How did he manage to get into the room? Who knows.

How is he able to use a computer? Who gives a damn.

How did he even get L's laptop? Well, he is Light’s shinigami.