Forbidden Desires (Yamamoto Takeshi)

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You lay on the bed, staring up at the white ceiling. Your mind was running wild and your heart ached painfully with feelings you shouldn’t have, but… can you really change how you feel with willpower and determination alone?

It was sick. Twisted. Wrong.

Did that mean there was something wrong with you? Had you gone crazy? Were you dropped on your head too much as a child?

A knock on the bedroom door snapped you back to the harsh reality you faced, “What?”

The door was pushed open before the bedroom light was flicked on, nearly blinding you. You groaned in response, rolling onto your side and shielding your eyes with your arm.

A deep chuckle reached your ears as the side of the bed sunk in, “Sorry. What were you doing lying in the dark, sweetheart?”

Why? Why did your heart skip a beat when he called you that in his deep, silky voice?

“My head hurts,” you muttered.

Takeshi’s eyes softened and he reached over, moving your arm. His hand lay flat against your forehead, eyebrows furrowed. “You feel warm.”

‘Of course, I’m warm with you touching me and being that damn close’. You closed your eyes, fighting against the blush that covered your cheeks. It was times like these that you were glad that your step-father was so dense.

He removed his hand and smiled down at you, “It may help if you eat. I just finished dinner.” He paused for a moment. “Your mother went out, so it’s just you and me again. Come on.” He patted your leg as he stood up.

You bit your lip, pushing yourself off the bed and following after the older male. His words echoed in your head like a broken record, repeating over and over and over again. ‘It’s just you and me’.

The fact that it was his voice that said those words made them even harder to forget. It may seem crazy, but you seemed to remember every word that left that man’s lips. You were beginning to think that you were turning into some obsessive psycho.

You took the seat across from him, eyes cast down towards the food on the plate. “So, which bar did the bitch go to this time?”

Yamamoto frowned at you, his voice stern. “You shouldn’t talk about your mother that way, Y/N.”

Hearing your name roll off his tongue like warm sugar made your heart skip a beat.

Hearing him defending that woman like that made it crack.

You bit your lip harder, trying to ignore the throbbing in your chest. It reminded you of the harsh reality that lay before you; Yamamoto Takeshi was your step-father, married to your mother. He was your parent.

You were in love with your own stepfather…

The man who married your mother, because he loved her…

It was viewed as sick and wrong, and damn did it hurt.

For the remainder of dinner, you ate in silence, letting your hair fall in front of your eyes. You weren’t sure if it was noticeable or not, but if it was, Takeshi would be able to read the pain in your eyes pretty easily. He’d either not understand why and question you or think that you were upset because of your mother… which isn’t completely untrue. The cause of your pain was the fact that a drunken woman like her could get such an amazing man like Yamamoto Takeshi.

“Are you mad?” He questioned softly, worry filling his brown eyes as he watched you playing with your food rather than eating it.

“Why would I be?” You muttered, afraid that your voice would betray you. Fists clenched under the table and you bit down on your lip hard, drawing blood from the split you created with your canine.

“For me scolding you about your mother.” He answered. “I have no right to scold you for how you feel about her, but… she’s still your mother, even if you don’t like the way she acts or the things she does. You should respect her and love her… not talk bad about her.”

“What the hell do you know?” You muttered harshly under your breath.

“Huh?” Takeshi blinked. You had said it so low, he wasn’t able to make out what you had said.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, anything!” He gave you his full attention.

“Why? Why are you with her?”

He blinked, cocking his head to the side.

You looked up, eyes blazing as they locked with his. He was surprised and confused to see so much anger and hurt in them. “Why are you with her? She doesn’t deserve you!” You stood, the chair falling back and hitting the ground as you slammed your hands on the table, making the older male jump in surprise; he had never seen you like this. “Don’t you know what she does behind your back, Takeshi?! When she goes out, she cheats on you! She has sex with a different man every night! And it’s not because she’s drunk and doesn’t know what she’s doing, either. She wants it! Are you really okay with that?!”

You froze when you saw his expression.

He was looking down at his plate, clearly upset as he thought about what you had said.

Seeing him like that… it tore you apart. It was like taking a stake and driving it through your heart multiple times. You couldn’t take it.

You pushed away from the table and ran upstairs, slamming and locking the door behind you before sliding down to the floor. Knees to your chest, your arms wrapped tight around them securely as you started to cry. Seeing your drunken, cheating mother with the man you fell in love with… you could deal with that.

But seeing Takeshi in so much pain like that, caused by yourself… you couldn’t stand that. You loved him so much, so why did you feel the need to hurt him? Takeshi was oblivious and even naive at times but he was far from stupid. Of course, he knew what she was doing behind his back while she went out. He knew very well that she was going out and having sex with several different men on a nightly basis. He was well aware of it. So why? Why did he stay with her, despite this? Did he really love her that much?

After an hour of sitting in the same position, you finally decided to drag your numb body to the bed. Without a care, you flopped onto your stomach, staring at the wall through blurry eyes. The tears still crawled down your cheeks, slowly soaking the pillow. Your chest felt heavy like your heart would burst at any given moment.

You honestly weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, unmoving, but it seemed like an eternity to you. Your thoughts were shattered when a soft knocking echoed through the quiet room.

“Y/N? Can I come in? I want to talk to you.” His voice was soft and gentle, making your eyes well up again. He was such a gentle and kind man… how could you have hurt him?

You grabbed your pillow and forced it over your head. You couldn’t face him, not now. You didn’t want him to see you in such a state.

Takeshi sighed before kneeling down, picking the lock on your door. Once it clicked, he turned the knob and entered the room, shutting the door back as quietly as he could. Seeing you that way made his heart thump painfully as he walked over, sitting on the side of the bed and pulling the pillow from your face. Your eyes were shut tight, refusing to look at him. He could see the tracks of tears down your cheeks.

“Y/N,” he called softly, his hand resting on your back. “Please look at me, sweetheart.”

You nearly winced at the name, glassy eyes slowly peeling open to look up at him.

It hurt him to see you so upset. He smiled, sadly. “You’re not upset because of what she does, are you? You’re upset because she’s doing it to me.”

Your brows furrowed, wondering how he knew that. You chose to say nothing, refusing to answer his question.

He leaned down, lowering his voice. “You asked me why I stay with her even though I know that she’s cheating on me. Do you still want to know the answer?”

“Yes,” your voice cracked despite how you tried to keep it steady. You were honestly afraid of his answer but at the same time, you just had to know.

Takeshi grabbed your arm, turning you over so that you were on your back. He wiped away your tears with his thumb before leaning over you, his face inches from your own. “I don’t mind what she does. I don’t love her.”

“Then… why?” You felt relieved that he didn’t love her but you were confused about his answer.

“Because I’m in love with you, sweetheart.” He grinned, brightly. “I used your mother to get closer to you. Marrying her was an excuse for me to live with you without any complications. I always got to be alone with you because she was always gone. I had to make sure you were taken care of, anyway.”

Your eyes widened, finding it hard to breathe. He couldn’t be serious.

His eyes softened and he leaned down, pressing his moist lips to your own. You were in shock but managed to kiss him back, letting all of your emotions flow through the kiss. He licked your bottom lip asking for entrance which you gladly obliged, arms winding around his neck and bringing his body closer to your own. His tongue ran over your busted lip, softly.

He pulled away, his breathing a bit heavy. “You love me back, right?” He questioned, that bright smile that you had come to love playing on his lips. He already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it.

You nodded, feeling happiness swell within you as you pulled him down into a tight hug. “I do. I love you so much, Yamamoto Takeshi.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” His arms wrapped around your waist as he nuzzled your neck lovingly. “Nothing will stand in our way. My heart belongs to you. It always has.”

Who cared if it was sick or wrong.

Who cared if others considered it gross or disgusting.

You were both in love and you were both happy.

That’s all that mattered.