Always (Kuroro Lucilfer) Chapter 3

 “I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.”

Your eyes fluttered open and your ears registered the sound of someone shuffling around the room. You could hear clothes being folded and placed into a bag before hearing it being zipped. The hotel door opened and closed almost silently.

You rolled over onto your back, staring up at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. You could hear the sound of Kuroro’s boots as he walked down the hall to the elevator. The sound echoed in your brain, taunting you and whispering in your ear.

“He’s walking away from you,” it laughed evilly, its voice low and gruff. “''He won’t come back this time. He’s gone for good.''”

You grabbed the pillow from underneath your body and slammed it over your head, eyes shut tight. You had difficulty breathing but you didn’t care; you had to get rid of the sound but it just kept echoing through the empty room. Every step made your heart clench and your head throb.

You groaned loudly, jumping out of the bed and hurriedly getting dressed. You had to get out of that hotel room.

Away from the silence and his lingering scent.

You had to get away.

Before running out the door, you headed over to the wall opposite the bed where a large painting of a waterfall lay. You picked it up off the hook and set it on the floor. Taped to the back of it was a brand new pack of cigarettes. You ripped it off before putting the picture back up.

The staff that worked at the front desk stared at you weirdly as you walked through the lobby; you weren’t sure if it was because you were going out during winter in a tank top or because you rushed past them as if you were trying to escape the grim reaper himself.

You didn’t really care, mind focused only on getting away from the hotel.

It took about thirty minutes for you to reach the deserted park and by the time you did, you were panting heavily. Your body fell onto the stone-cold metal bench, hastily pulling a cigarette out of the pack and putting it between your lips. You flicked the lighter before inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly.

Just one drag and your nerves were beginning to calm. It was a long and slow process involving several hours and many cigarettes, but finally, your nerves were completely calm and at ease. Your mind had completely forgotten about Kuroro, his uncaring nature, and his stupid games.

At that moment, he wasn’t even the last thing on your mind. You were content, if only for that moment.

By the time you decided to head back, it was already about five-thirty in the afternoon.

You stopped off to get a drink before finally returning to the hotel. Your eyes stared into the pack of cigarettes as you rode in the elevator and you scowled, having only three left in the pack.

“It was a new pack, too. Damn it, I’ll have to take another job to get some money.” You muttered to yourself, taking a swig of your drink before unlocking the door and stepping inside.

Kuroro had plenty of money to spare, but you refused to ask him for any. Why would he give up his money for you, a toy that he plays with from time to time? Besides, you’d have to tell him what you wanted the money for and that wasn’t gonna happen.

You glanced up once you were in the room and immediately froze, a sense of dread washing over you.

Sitting in the white chair by the balcony was Kuroro and he did not look happy. His elbows were on his knees, folded hands covering his mouth which sat in a straight line. His expression was somber, eyes closed.

‘Maybe if I back up really slow, he won’t notice me’, you thought. Slowly, you began to inch backward but froze again when his eyes opened, narrowed and glaring at you with something close to hatred.

“Where have you been, Y/N?” His cold tone made you flinch. “You’ve been gone for over five hours.” His eyes moved down to your bare arms which had turned pale due to the cold. “I believe I told you not to leave this room without a jacket.”

Your fear quickly morphed into anger and you let out a growl, fists clenched at your side. You moved farther into the room, throwing your keycard on the bed and kicking your shoes off. You were well aware of his dark eyes following your every move but you ignored it, pretending that he wasn’t even there.

Kuroro had no right to question her.

He leaves without a word and stays gone for months at a time, without a single call. Hell, even a text would be sufficient! You never once questioned him, so what gives him the right to do so to you? You didn’t have to answer his questions. It was none of his damn business where you’ve been.

Before you could enter the bathroom, he grabbed your arm tightly and pushed you against the wall, trapping you there with his body. His hands gripped your wrists tightly, keeping them flush against the wall to prevent you from moving. You repressed a shiver when he leaned in to whisper in your ear, his voice low and menacing.

“Everything you do is my business. You’re not allowed to do anything without my knowledge and approval. Now, where have you been?”

You turned your head to the side, refusing to look at him. You weren’t a criminal! You hadn’t done anything to deserve the chains Kuroro had put around you and you didn’t deserve to be treated like a slave or a dog and, even if it killed you, you would not swallow your pride and bow down to him like a mindless doll.

He sighed deeply, his warm breath fanning over your still chilled skin. Kuroro closed his eyes, his grip loosening only slightly. “I won’t kill you, no matter what stupid or foolish thing you do.”

Your eye twitched in annoyance but you said nothing.

“Why were you gone so long and without a jacket, hmm?” His left hand released your wrist and snaked around, slipping stealthily into the back pocket of your jeans. Your eyes widened and you finally looked at him, eyes locking with his own.

‘How did he…?’

“I’ve always known,” He answered softly, his fingers tapping the top of the box. “No matter what you did, the smell of cigarette smoke still lingered. I don’t approve of you smoking, you know that.”

You pushed him away, stopping in front of the bathroom door. A shadow formed over your eyes as you hung your head. “What’s it matter, Kuroro? One day you’ll tire of me and move on. What’s it matter if I shorten my own life? It will end soon, anyway. Whether by your hand, the Ryodan’s hand, or by Kurapica’s hand. It’ll happen eventually, it’s only a matter of time.”

You then locked yourself in the backroom, stripping your clothes off and stepping into the shower. Your eyes stared blankly at the tile wall as the cold water cascaded down your numb body. It did well to hide the tears that fell from your eyes.