Save Me (Ken “Draken” Ryuguji) 01 – Idiot

 "Sometimes I just wanna quit, tell my life I'm done with it... when it feels too painful. Sometimes I just wanna say, I love myself but not today... when it feels too painful." ONE OK ROCK - Heart of Gold

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I thought moving to Japan would be a fresh start, a chance for me to reinvent myself and be a better person. I was convinced that when I moved here, something magical would take place and flip my life on its head like this were some kind of anime, but that didn't happen. I was a shut-in back in the states and I was a shut-in here in Japan, too. I was still socially awkward, going out of my way to avoid human interaction and wasting my life away playing video games, pretending that I'm some strong hero that people depend on to save the day. Nothing changed for me except the scenery. How long can I go telling myself that tomorrow I'll change before I stop believing myself? How long will I buy into my own bullshit before hope completely dies?

Wow, I'm starting to sound pretty emo these days. I guess I've always been this way to some degree, but maybe I've gotten worse since my dream Japan life was downgraded to a shitty late-night comedy that no one tunes in to. Jeez, get out of your head, girl. That's a nasty place to be. I did my best to ignore my encroaching thoughts, focusing on the sound of the music pumping through my ears and the manga in my hands. To be honest, I don't even know what's happening in the damn book. I'm only five pages in but I can't remember a single word. Was it boring or am I just not paying attention? Probably both.

If that damn train would hurry up, maybe -

It all happened so fast. One minute I was in my own head, waiting for the train to arrive and the next I see a guy falling onto the tracks, only he wasn't alone. In his panic, he had reached out and grabbed onto whatever he could to try and save himself, but it didn't work. He had pulled me down onto the tracks with him and the train was barreling toward us!

The last thing I heard was screaming, but I don't know if it was my own or someone else's. There was a flash of blue light and then… nothing.

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People say when you're about to die, your life flashes before your eyes, but how could they possibly know that unless they were dead? Did they purposefully kill people and then bring them back just to see? That honestly sounds like something humanity would do, but I'm not buying it. I know I got hit by that train. I could feel the impact against my body as if a linebacker had decided I was a more fitting target than the guy with the ball. My whole body hurts, but aren't you supposed to feel nothing when you're dead?

A groan passed my lips as my eyes fluttered open, taking in the afternoon sky above. Heh. I can't even die properly, ain't that some shit. It took a minute to regain feeling in my body and I slowly sat up, trying to make sense of where I was. Nothing looked familiar, but I was sure that this was still Japan. How the fuck did I go from train tracks to the middle of the street? Was it some kind of fucked up dream caused by the sheer amount of Dr. Pepper, tacos, and anxiety that are constantly in my system? The more that I thought about it, that actually made sense. Typically when you don't take care of yourself, your body tends to send a royal 'fuck you' in reply.

I pulled myself to my feet, wincing at the pain in my neck. It felt like that time I fell asleep in the kitchen, half standing while the counter supported my upper body. It was ungodly uncomfortable and I have no fucking idea how I stayed that way for so long, but it happened and it really felt like I had done it again. Though I'm pretty sure my fear of human contact would stop me from falling asleep in public even if I was dead on my feet.

"Hey, look! It's a foreigner."

"A foreign chick, too."

"Yeah, but she's not much of a looker is she?"

"Aren't Americans supposed to be exotic?"

"Ugh, if all Americans look like her, I'm never visiting."

"Right? Ahahaha."

My hands clenched at my sides and I kept my head down, not looking up from the pavement beneath me. The three guys were speaking loudly so they clearly wanted me to hear - or maybe they just figured I couldn't speak Japanese. Either way, I can feel their eyes on me and I'm not okay. Calm down, calm down! People like this are hyenas - they can sense fear and they'll exploit it. All I have to do is treat them like I treat all of my problems - ignore it 'til it goes away. No sweat.

I tried to look as inconspicuous as possible which, given my track record, probably wasn't very inconspicuous at all; hands stuffed into my pockets, head raised but eyes glued to the pavement and my shoulders slouching as if that would somehow make me invisible to them. Obviously, it didn't work but it made me feel better at least. I listened intently for the sound of footsteps behind me, but there was none and their laughter was slowly fading as I put more distance between us. They're not following me, oh thank Deadpool.

The tension in my shoulders was the tiniest bit less painful as I turned the corner and - ran right into someone. Fuck me. I didn't even have to look up to know that whoever I just hit was big, powerful, and angry at being touched by a peasant such as myself. I swallowed hard, my lips parting to apologize but the words wouldn't come. It's not that hard, for fuck's sake! Just say sorry and move on! But my vocal cords were on strike. Should I just run? No, let's be real here, my fat ass can manage a very brisk walk at best and crawling like half a zombie in a dungeon at worst.

"Oi, say somethin'!" The man barked angrily. "Stupid foreigners! You can't just hit someone and then stand around with your thumb up your ass. Show some damn respect."

He's right, dumbass. Say you're fucking sorry. Go on, say it! "I-I… I, um…" Real smooth.

He snorted. "What's that, foreigner? Can't speak our language? Then maybe you shouldn't be here!" In the blink of an eye, he had shoved both of shoulders hard. My legs didn't even try to keep me upright, buckling under the stress and sending me to the pavement. My hands at least TRIED, but all they got for their trouble was some scraped skin, not that I could really feel it with so much adrenaline pumping through me. Is this what steroids feel like? Nah, that's a stupid thought. If it was, I'd feel powerful, not like a puppy that shit in its angry owner's shoe.

"Boss, what's goin' on?"

"Hey look, it's the foreigner."

"No way! Is she stupid or somethin'?"

Three sets of footsteps appeared behind me and I knew it was the three hyenas from before. I was officially surrounded by people who were easily stronger than me considering I had the strength of a toothpick. And not those fancy name brands toothpicks - no, no, one of those cheap ones that breaks when you touch it. Wait, that makes me sound fragile… I mean, I kind of am, but… no, no, I'm not a fucking vase!

"Idiot."

"The fuck did you just call me?"

Oh my fucking Deadpool, I just said that out loud, didn't I? Wow, we can check that on the list of what not to do when faced with someone twice your size and ten times your strength… if the train didn't kill me, these guys sure were going to. No, what am I thinking? Am I really going to just give up that easily? If I'm going to die anyway, I should at least TRY to retain some of my dignity… right?

Taking a deep breath to try and calm my racing heart, I pulled myself to my feet. I tried to lift my gaze, but the second it landed on his square face, I immediately dropped it back to the ground. Fuck, this guy's massive and ugly. All the more reason to get this over with quickly. Another deep breath. There ya go. Now, apologize! "I-I… I'm sorry…"

"Hah? What was that, foreigner? I couldn't hear you over your broken Japanese!" He scoffed, making the hyena crew bark out a laugh.

Try again, louder this time. You got this. "I'm so-sorry…!"

"Sorry for what, puppy?" One of the hyenas giggled, his voice uncomfortably close but I was too scared to turn around and check the distance between us. I was probably better off not knowing. And where does he get off calling me a puppy?! I'm not a damn puppy. If anything, I'm a fearsome cat that takes no one's shit.

"So… Sorry for… running into you…" I quickly lost confidence toward the end and the words came out as more of a mumble than anything, but I did my part. I apologized and now it was time to get the fuck outta dodge. I bowed my head lower and tried to speed walk around him but he shot his arm out to stop me. It was like the trunk of a fucking tree.

"You scuffed my shoe, foreigner. An apology ain't gonna fix that, now is it?"

I didn't even touch his shoe! And more importantly, I haven't stopped staring at them because they are actually nice tennis shoes and I wouldn't mind having a pair to - stop getting sidetracked! There's not a single mark on those shoes. If anything, it's weird how clean they fucking are.

"What are you gonna do about it, hm?"

I could smell his breath when he leaned toward me and it smelt like fish that had decided to sunbathe for a few hours. Every time he spoke, a puff of hot air would hit my cheek before that smell filled my nostrils and it sent a shiver of disgust through my body.

"Hey, she's tremblin'!"

"I think she likes you, boss!"

"Ahahaha. Maybe she's the type that likes danger."

For fuck's sake, are these guys on crack? That was clearly a shiver of disgust!

Their 'boss' straightened his back and puffed out his chest and I could just hear the grin in his voice. "Oh yeah? You like what you see, foreigner? Is that why you came here? Well, who am I to deny a woman, huh?" He reached out for me and I stepped back on instinct, not wanting to be touched by this terrifying, strange man. "No need to be shy~"

Oh Deadpool, how the fuck do I get out of this? I would much rather have the train…

"Wow, I've never seen someone so delusional before."

That voice is new. Great, there's another one?

"What did you just fucking say?" 'Boss' growled, turning around to face the newcomer.

With his attention elsewhere, I felt a bit comfortable observing him for a moment. He was pretty tall and thin, wearing baggy pants and a black and white baggy shirt over a tank top. His hair was… interesting. The color of caramel, it had been pulled into one long braid down his back, the sides of his head shaved, showing off a tattoo on the left side of his temple and curling down to his neck. He was holding a white plastic bag in his hand. Jeez, this guy looked like even more trouble, but… this might work in my favor. If he distracts them enough, I might be able to slip away.

"I said you're delusional," the tall one replied, a deadpan look on his face. "Anyone can tell she's scared, not attracted to you."

"I suggest you mind your own business, brat, before you get hurt." 'Boss' cracked his knuckles and I could feel the three hyenas slowly making their way closer. One had a metal bat slung over his shoulder while another had spiked brass knuckles. What the fuck. That would have been a good thing to notice earlier, brain!

"You've got some nerve, talkin' to our boss like that."

"Let's fuck 'em up. Teach 'em a lesson he'll never forget."

"Ahahaha, we'll rearrange that pretty face of yours."

"…"

"Dude, did you just call him pretty?"

"Am I wrong?"

"I -"

I glanced at the newcomer again and nodded in agreement. He's certainly more attractive than these clowns. A cry of pain left my lips when I felt someone grab the back of my neck, yanking me backward. It was the guy with the bat and he didn't look happy.

"What're you agreein' for, puppy?"

"Yeah! You belong to boss now, no lookin' at other men!"

"L-Let go of me!" I cried, trying to pry his hand off my neck but his grip was like iron. Or maybe I'm just really that weak. That's a depressing thought. My eyes locked with the stranger's gaze and I noticed it had darkened considerably.

The plastic bag slipped from his grip and before it hit the ground, he had darted up toward 'Boss,' decking him right in the gut. He groaned loudly, stumbling back a few steps before throwing a punch at the tall one which he easily dodged before slamming his foot into the guy's side, sending him flying to the ground. His back was to us now and he couldn't see the hyena rushing at him with the brass knuckles poised. I shoulda stayed quiet, but I didn't.

"W-Watch out!"

He turned just in time, catching it with his fist. Blood slid down his skin, dripping to the ground, but he didn't even flinch as he tugged the guy closer before slamming his fist into the guy's face. He was down for the fucking count, his nose misshapen. I heard a click before I felt something cold and very sharp pressing against my throat. How many fucking cliches have I ticked off at this point?!

"Don't move or I'll slit her throat!"

The male straightened up and, to my surprise, he did as he was told, not moving an inch. His eyes met mine and they were soft. Was he telling me not to worry, that everything would be okay? Or was he apologizing because he had no intention of letting these idiots get the better of him which most definitely spelled out my demise? I didn't want to know the answer, so I closed my eyes, trying to imagine myself in one of my video games.

I heard fighting and the sound of bones cracking. Metal slapping concrete. Cries of pain and anger. I didn't feel the knife anymore and the hand at the back of my neck was gone, but the skin still throbbed as if he were still holding me. Still, I kept my eyes closed, wishing I was anywhere but here. I made a mental list of all the things I had done in my life that might warrant this as punishment and it was surprisingly longer than I would have liked. Huh, maybe I am an asshole.

"Hey." The voice was soft, just a foot or so away from me. "You okay?"

I swallowed hard and my throat stung, but I slowly opened my eyes, finding the hyenas and their boss all KO'd on the ground, none of them moving. Pretty sure that one isn't even breathing… The tall one took a step toward me and I took a step back on instinct, prompting him to hold his bloody hands up.

"Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you."

He seemed sincere enough, but… what if he's just a damn good actor? He probably wants something for saving me. My hands shook as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. Fuck, why am I so broke? All I had was a 1,000 yen bill and half of a 2,000 yen bill. Even so, I took them both and held them out to him, trying to control the shake of my hand. "I… It's not m-much but please just… take it and leave me alone…"

"I don't want your money."

My brow furrowed in confusion. Then what the fuck does he want from me?

"I just want to know you're okay." His dark eyes scanned my body and I felt uncomfortable, but it was different from when the 'Boss' had done the same thing. "Your neck is cut but it doesn't look deep. Your hand is scraped up, too. Any other injuries?"

My pride. My lack of social skills. My brain. Fucking pick one. But I couldn't very well say that to this terrifying guy that just saved my ass, could I? Instead, I just shook my head. "No…"

"Good." He nodded his head, turning around to pick up the plastic bag he had dropped. I thought he was going to leave but he turned back toward me once he had the bag, digging inside for something. "Here, catch."

My mind had been so preoccupied with trying to determine what he had in the bag that it didn't register his words until whatever he threw at me hit me square in the face, making me wince. He sighed heavily. "You were supposed to catch it."

Well excuse me for not being very coordinated. I leaned down to pick up the object, realizing it was a fresh roll of bandages. I looked at him with confusion and he shrugged.

"I bought plenty, so keep 'em."

"T-Thank you."

"Let me walk you home -"

"No!" I replied quickly, hoping he wouldn't get angry that I just cut him off. "I-I'm good… thanks."

"Are you sure?" He didn't look convinced and I wondered if he was going to follow me anyway.

I nodded, giving him a quick bow before speed-walking away in the opposite direction, the bandages clutched tightly in my hand. I didn't stop until my legs screamed at me to give them a break, so I stopped at the park, my body falling onto the bench with a heavy sigh. I fished my phone out of my pocket and tapped the screen but nothing happened. The screen remained black even when I held the power button. What a time for my phone to die!

Okay, let's review what I know so far. My phone is dead - 48-hour battery life, my ass! I don't know what neighborhood I'm in and I have very little cash on me. I've already had my life threatened by a gorilla and his hench-hyenas. Oh, and I might be dead because I got pulled in front of a fucking train. I threw my hands up and groaned, earning a strange look from the two women who were walking by. The attention made me sink farther down on the bench, my hoodie acting like a shell that I could retreat into. What are even my options right now? I guess I could ask for directions…

I glanced at the couple standing on the other side of the fountain, sharing a large pretzel as they snuggled up against one another. To the left was an older man squinting at the newspaper in his hands and to the right was a couple of high schoolers stealing coins out of the fountain. Wow, that's… pretty fucking low. One of them glanced up and our eyes met, making me quickly look away. Nope, I didn't see shit, please continue breaking the law person who I have never seen in my life! Thankfully, he went back to what he was doing, ignoring me entirely.

I was tempted to just wander around until I could get my bearings, but my legs were tired, my head was killing me, and my hand hurt. The lesser of two evils, well in this case three evils, was the old man. So, before he could walk away, I took a deep breath and approached him. "U-Um…" He didn't acknowledge me at all, but I assumed he was just hard of hearing so I raised my voice a bit. "E-Excuse me… sir…"

"Hm?" He lowered the paper to peer at me suspiciously. "Yes?"

"H-Hi," I gave a sheepish smile that I hoped didn't look too forced as I gave him a small wave. "Can you… tell me where we are?"

"Poko park."

Right, not what I meant. "A-And where is that… exactly?"

He took in my appearance, eyes still narrowed suspiciously at me. I hoped the hoodie was hiding the cut on my neck and I made sure to keep my hand in my pocket. "Shibuya."

"S-Shibuya?" I echoed in surprise. Why doesn't it look familiar to me, then? Well, I guess I rarely did leave my apartment much aside from visiting the market sometimes and the game store. "Thank you… s-sorry to bother…"

He nodded, lifting the paper again.

I went to turn away when the front of the paper caught my eye. Printed in large letters at the top of the page was the date - July 2nd, 2010. Why is he reading a newspaper from ten years ago?

He slowly lowered the paper. "Did you need something else? It's rude to stare."

"Oh, um… s-sorry, I just…" I pointed at the front page of the paper and he flipped it over, his brow raised in question. "Sorry if this is… rude, but… why are you reading such an old newspaper?"

"Old?" He scoffed. "It was just printed this morning! Do kids these days really move on that quickly?"

"T-This morning?!" I cried loudly, earning more than a few stares from the others in the park.

"That's right. Why?"

"T-That's not… possible…"

"And why is that?"

Because it's supposed to be fucking 2020! My lips parted, but no sound escaped as I slowly backed away from him.

"Miss, are you okay? You look pale."

I couldn't answer him. Blood was pumping loudly in my ear, muffling the sounds of life around me. I felt dizzy, my vision beginning to swim as the date kept flashing in my mind. I don't understand anything that's happening and I… I'm scared. The man stood up, saying something that I couldn't hear and I backed away, shaking my head repeatedly, which only made my vision swim faster. I knew what was coming. I could feel the panic creeping at the edge of my mind as if it were some creature of the dark stalking its prey. I hadn't had a panic attack in so long, I don't need one now!

I turned on my heel and ran. For the first time since I was a kid, I fucking ran like a giant spider was at my fucking heels. I didn't know where I was going and I could barely see straight, but I just needed to move, to get away. Too bad problems can't be run away from when they're inside of you already.

"Watch out!"

I heard the squeal of tires, the smell of burnt rubber burning my nose, and I felt something hit me hard from behind before I hit the ground, the cold concrete feeling good against my heated skin. Everything around me seemed to slow down, everything blurry and the sound seeming far away. I just wanted the panic to go away! I closed my eyes tightly, feeling tears sting at them. I could feel people crowding around me, talking to each other and to me. I just wanted them to go away!

Please…

Someone… save me!